Sith, Drudge, and Rahm on a Roll

Since the last election, something has been bothering me. I just couldn't quite figure just what it was, it hung tantalizingly out of reach. Kind of like a long forgotten name.

It was also dark and ominous, like the words pudding.....chainsaw....Policia are to a hung over college student.

There were just too many changes too fast. Too many "two legs bad" to "two legs better". In Animal Farm, these changes took years. The current administration has taken less than three months.

Bush's rendition is bad. Obama's rendition good. Bush's deficits bad. Obama's deficits good. $8 billion in earmarks in a day "miniscule". 3 months to save $100 million "real money".

A few things recently may have filled in the puzzle.

Recently, Matt Drudge linked to a story about some of Scotland's finest listing their religion as Jedi. The story is cute and rather amusing. And anyone's religion, even yours, looks just as strange to an outsider.

That story must have sparked something in my mind. I recalled the DHS report out last Tuesday, just in time for Wednesday's TEA Party protests. I combined that with the Star Wars scene where Obi-Wan tells the stormtrooper "These are not the droids you're looking for".

OMFG! We have a report to give cover, and 24 hours later, there's Roesgen and Garafalo saying "These ARE the Extremists you've been looking for!" Could we all be suffering a Jedi Mind Trick?

This brought me two more places.

First, the Jedi use the force for good, so it can't be them. But we also have those who've turned to the Dark Side, the Sith. It could be Sith.

Second, the operation must be massive. To get the Administration, the Congress, and the MSM all under the same delusions requires enormous scale.

Few of us saw this coming. It was done covertly. A massive covert op to take over America would be called a Fifth Column. Only let's us call it the Sith Column.

So who are they? I only know of one name. News Reader, a former reporter or anchor, went over to the Dark Side, assuming the title Darth Reader. Darth Reader's whereabouts are unknown. Could it be Roesgen? Nah, she blew her op, and blew her cover in the process. Olberman? Nah, not effective enough. Matthews? Too "tingly". Reliable reports place Darth Reader frequenting JournoList. I can just hear the heavy breathing, "Luke, This is not your story".

Who else might be covert Sith? Dodd? Franks? Reid? I think Pelosi is a shoo in, since she usually wears her Sith makeup.

My personal opinion is that Rahm Emmanuel, Presidential Chief of Staff, is a key player in the Sith Column. Emmanuel controls the President's schedule, staff, who get's to see him, and most importantly, The Teleprompter (praise be unto Teleprompter).

Emmanuel has a well earned reputation for steam-rollering opposition, and shows no sign of slowing. But is he the big boss of the Sith? Or is there another, higher layer? Darth Soros perhaps.

Unfortunately, the only Jedi I know of are the Police in Scotland. Redeeming America will require many more, home grown Jedi. And we need them fast, before 2010.

All the new applicants must be taught the ways of the force. We need a Yoda.

Have we had stealth Jedi among us? Have we had a Yoda, or does one still exist?

Can we learn all we need from the past, from books? Are Reagan and Goldwater and Heinlein and Rand and Buckley enough? Or do we need a living Yoda?

What about Gingrich or Boortz or Hannity? I think Fred Thompson could do the look, and has the knowledge, but his voice would kill it, "Focused, ya'll must be."

Also, this might be a longer fight, so we'd need a younger Yoda, skilled in the newer ways of the force. If we could just shorten Glenn Reynolds......

ED Note: Relatively few animals were harmed during the writing of this post.

The Grey Man